22/9/18 00:45

Bonne nuit!  It has been a while since my last email, 18 days ago to be exact. I have tried to force myself to sit down and write an email out, but I can't force it.  Being in France has been so healthy for my mind and body. I have been digging into my art and my past in order to heal myself from past traumas. It has been a difficult process, lonely and terrifying at times, but every day I feel I am getting closer to being truly healthy, for the first time in.... well, really as long as I can remember.  Taking courses on art history and really digging into romantic and impressionist artists has helped me to understand myself. When reading journal entries from Chopin, Delacroix, and Georges Sand for example, I feel that my emotions are being reflected. I have been working on unlocking my full potential as an artist and a musician, wanting to let go of past events so that I can focus on being in the moment. It is anything but easy, looking into my past, but I am encouraged by simple things as well as works of art found everywhere.  My host family is incredible, I feel as though I fit right in. Elisabeth, my host mom, is very caring and loves to cook and bake. Almost every night she prepares a several course meal, (an entree, main plate, salade et fromage, and dessert). The other night she made stuffed eggplant, and we had homemade crème brulée for dessert. She reminds me a lot of my own mother, as she would clearly do anything for her children. Clara (23), Simon (21) and Caroline (19) are her three lovely kiddos who aren't kiddos at all anymore. Clara has a three-year-old, Mia, who is energetic, stubborn, and quite silly. Simon, Clara, and Mia left last Saturday, moving to Saint Barthelemy, a French island in the Caribbean for the rest of the year (um, cool?!)

The whole family is very loving and makes me feel very at home. They are all eager to help me learn French, and because Elisabeth used to be an editor, she is always correcting my grammar. I learn a lot from eating dinner with the whole family, especially from Mia. Whenever they explain something to her slowly, it helps me to understand French better. They are also constantly teaching her manners, so I am learning many lessons about French manners. 

This family is also very creative. I have been thinking a lot about my grandparents and great-grandparents lately. I have been so lucky to have more grandparents and great-grandparents than anybody could possibly dream of. Grammy & Grampy, Saba, Gramma Jo & Tito being my closest grandparents. I have always been inspired by the lives of my elders, so to say. They have always fostered my creativity and encouraging me to be artistic. People always ask me why I am so creative, and I believe my grandparents are to thank for part of the reason I am the way I am. 

That was a major side-track, but during much of my time here I have been thinking about the people in my life who helped shape me. I am so grateful for every single presence that has ever been in my life, even if the experience appeared to be majorly negative. Every moment that I have lived and every person that I have known have helped me to be who I am today, and where I am. 

I am still so amazed that I live in Southern France... every day feels like a dream.

Much love and thank you for the positive thoughts,

Hannah